Does Anyone Know How to Treat a Zombie Bite???

[sean thomas fisher]

I got nipped by one of the songuns on my way home from Dairy Queen last night. Actually, it's more like a scratch than a bite, but it won't stop bleeding. Any advice??

[kmack]

A couple ounces of lead introduced at high velocity into the cranium will usually do the trick.

[Eawestwrites]

Sorry, sounds like you need to amputate.

[jack blaine]

Copious applications of Purell Hand Sanitizer?

[Holly A. Hook]

Agree with amputate.

[RobertY]

Sorry, but your goose is cooked.

[sean thomas fisher]

Excellent answers. Congratulations, you have all survived. Except Jack. Unfortunately, you will turn into a walker, but on the bright side you will be the cleanest zombie this side of the Mississipp. And while amputation can be effective it is also risky. Having a vampire suck out all of the infected blood is the only way to be sure. That and the two ounces of lead Kmack was referring to.

[JRTomlin]

Have a vampire suck out the infected blood is the right answer BUT there is one tricky part.

If it is a sparkly vampire then you'll be infected not only with sparkling but terminal and stomach-turning cuteness. So be careful!

[sean thomas fisher]

You make a fantastic point. Being infected with stomach-turning cuteness is even worse than being infected with the T-virus. If you cannot find a vampire who wears a cool leather coat and is from the deep south, then I recommend a breast-pump to remove the rabid venom. Ten points to Gryffindor!

[RobertY]

I'm sorry if I ever got infected with stomach-turning cuteness I would set up the largest bed of wooden stakes ever seen, then belly flop from a tall building onto said bed.