I Will NOT Go The F*** to Sleep!, LOL beach/summer reading
I am new to the Nook Forum, but this book has been selling on Nook since around June 11, and in fact did very well in June. Thank you, Nook readers, and I would like to let you know I have brought back all of the features of that first edition that did so well.
It is a pot pourri of political, social, family and intercultural satire, and has received four 5-star ratings and reviews calling it "hilarious" and "hysterical."
I hope you like it, and if you do, please also try The Revised Kama Sutra and What We All Need, both available on Nook.
A short excerpt here (from a satire on outsourcing):
Dear Brothers and Sisters of the Great Hamburger Cowboy Nation of America: There is no need to introduce myself. You know my entire family already. Thanks to your profit-starved corporations and grossly underpaid CEOs exporting your jobs to improve their bottom lines, my eighteen brothers and sisters, bred and currently breeding like rabbits in Bangalore, have all taken your jobs (alternative pronunciation: yer jaorbs?). What’s more, you have spoken to one or more of them. Remember Sue (Sushmita) at AT&T, Kelli (Kalinadi) at Walmart Customer Service, Billy (Balwant) from AOL, Jake (Jayakrishnan) from Citibank Visa, Victor (Vikas) from Microsoft Tech Support, Neil (Neelakanta) from HP Customer Support, Vicki (Vikram Bandit) from Citibank Credit Default Swap Investments, John S. Warren (Jnaneswaran) of the Legal Support Hotline, Biff (Bhimaiah, wow, that was a stretch, but Biff had always wanted to be called Biff ever since he was a young sperm with no prospects) from Real Beef Home Delivery, Happy (Happy N. Dingra) of the Virtual Massage Service Hotline, Vin (Venkatakrishnaiah Doddaballapurappa Gowda) of WorldCom, Bob (Babbar) from Allstate Auto Insurance Claims Department who took down your rather imaginative and completely fake accident report, and last but not least, Ruth the real all-over blonde (Rudramma) from 1-888-Talk2MeUHunk, the toll-free erotic phone fantasy hot line for heavy breathers, just put it on your Visa card, and it will be billed as a business/technical consultation? They all fooled you with their flawless American accents, didn’t they?
or from a satire called Nuclear Weapons Fire Sale:
TO: President Obama
Dear Mr. President, Sir, and Soul Brudder:
Yo! Here be a few suggestions to salvage a small fraction of them that useless crappy–er, I mean, the patriotic— financial investment the country made in over ten thousand nuclear weapons against an Evil Empire that was bankrupt, after all, and only wanted the latest blue jeans, Nikes, Big Macs, and reruns of Seinfeld and “Friends” just like us. Know what I mean, bro? Like:
THE NUCLEAR WEAPONS FIRE SALE
A free ad on the U.N. bulletin board will do it, Sir:
LOST OUR ENEMY! 10,000 NUKES MUST BE SOLD!
OWN YOUR OWN NUKE!
(A DICTATOR'S BEST FRIEND!)
BUY ONE AT OUR REGULARLY OUTRAGEOUS PRICE, GET ONE FREE!
Guaranteed: Delivered To Your Door In Under Twenty Minutes—
Or The Next One Is On Us!!!
Note: *Offer valid only till Doomsday.
**Stocks limited. $999.99 million per warhead. MIRVs 1000% extra.
***We will beat any competitor's offer with printed proof.
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